As I read the title of this post I still can't believe it. I have to repeat to myself over and over 'I have multiple sclerosis, I have multiple sclerosis, I have MS". It's still sinking in because technically I've just known this for 2 days now and have been having symptoms for a week and a half. These last 10 days feel like months. It truly is amazing how dramatically a life can change from one day to the next, my life has changed from one day to the next. My MS journey started 11 days ago on June 17, 2013. I woke up with double vision and had no idea why. I went to a walk in clinic and they were unable to find any cause of my vision issues and suggested I see an optometrist or neurologist. I saw an optometrist the following day and he suspected I had sixth never palsy and my issue would resolve itself on it's own but wanted to consult a neurologist for an MRI to ensure nothing more serious was going on like a brain tumor. I was able to get in with a neurologist the same afternoon and he sent me for an MRI the following day. Wednesday morning I woke up with numbness in my hand but it was still functional. My follow up appointment to get my MRI results was Tuesday the 25th. I woke up that morning with numbness on the whole right side of my body. Shortly after my hand started acting up I knew my diagnosis wouldn't be as simple as something that would resolve itself on it's own. After doing some research I was fairly certain I had MS. The weekend before getting my DX my Nanny was diagnosed with a brain tumor which will eventually be fatal, I would be lying if I said the thought of being faced with the same outcome didn't cross my mind. As difficult as it was I was fairly successful pushing my worries of the possible diagosis out of my mind. The verse I countinued to repeat to myself was Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Tuesday finally come around and we were able to meet with my neurologist to get the results of the MRI. To say we were dissapointed in the doctor would be a total understatment. After waiting for 30 minutes he finally came to the exam room and doesn't even have my report or results pulled up so we wait another 15 grueling minutes waiting for him to get everything together to deliver our results. He begins by telling us he has good news and bad news. The good news is I don't have a brain tumor but I most certainly have MS. He immediately goes into what we have to do next and is very difficult to understand because english is not his first language. He continued to use very complicated medical terms and despite several requests to help us understand he was unable to do that. Bottom line he wanted to admit me to the hospital that day for 5 days to start on IV steroids. Of course I was devastated by not only my diagnosis but being away from Peyton for 5 days was out of the question. Jordan and I discussed it and decided we wanted to get a second opinion, not because we thought the diagnosis was incorrect but because we were confused about treatment options and wanted to be closer to home if we were going to have to be in the hospital for five days. The doctor that I used to work for was able to help us tremendously and put me in contact with another doctor that admitted me to Central Baptist the following day. We got another consult with a fabulous neurologist and he was sooo incredibly helpful. He simply explained things and made us feel so much better about the situation and what the future was going to look like for our family. That day I started IV steroids and the great news was I could do the rest of my treatment from home, praise The Lord.
To say Jordan has been amazing would be a complete understatement! I know many men faced with this predicament would be scared and not step up to the plate. My hubby has been nothing but supportive and loving. He has been to every appointment and advocated on my behalf to ensure I get the best care possible. He has also been super dad and taken such good care of Peyton while I'm not able to do everything I once could. I am so lucky that we found each other and that he decided I was worthy of his love. I'm sure neither on of us thought the vows "of sickness and in health" would be so relevant this early in life but it is and we are getting stronger because of it.
I knew we were surrounded by love and support prior to my diagnosis but now there is no question. Our family and friends, the wonderful family I work for, our church family at Mt. Zion and LINE-X have all be so supportive and flexible during this crazy time. To say we are blessed is truly an understatement, I could come up with a huge list of the crazy amount of blessings we have been privileged to receive. We have felt the prayers people have been praying for us and God's embrace this entire time! Never once have we been afraid or scared or hopeless. I've only felt encouraged, hopeful and loved and that truly is a blessing from above.
So does having multiple sclerosis suck ... heck yes!!! There could be far worse things happen to me though and I know we can deal with this. Don't feel bad for me because I plan on doing anything and everything possible to ensure I live a long healthy life and have all the support anyone could possibly want to achieve this. I'm sure there will be ups and downs during this journey and I will certainly keep you posted about myself as well as how Peyton is growing up!
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